And here we are folks, more than halfway done with the fantasy season and what an interesting season it has been so far. In 8 weeks of play, we’ve seen favorites from previous seasons have the worst luck with their rosters while newcomers having all kind of success Now usually at this point of the season, we have a good idea what teams will make the playoffs. But judging the current standings with 4 teams with 5-3 records, 2 with 4-4 records, and other teams with 3-5 records, everyone (yes, including the three 2-6 teams) still has a legitimate shot of making it to the Golden Mimosa tourney. But for now, let’s back at the week that was.
Matchup #1: Dime Bag Swagger Gordons(104.5) - Party Like A Gronk Star(92)
This week saw the rematch of last year’s championship matchup between myself and Durete, where Durete became the champion by the score of 82-81(Fuck you Roddy White getting 16 points on my bench!!). Truth be told, I’ve been salty about that 1 point lost for months and when I saw during the preseason that I would get a rematch, I went Steve Smith Sr. mode and wanted blood and guts. In hindsight, I should have known that this would be close because what was projected as a 33.5-point blowout turned out to be a game that came down to the Monday Night matchup of the Dallas/Wash. game thanks to GRONK SMASH and his 36.5 points as well as underperformances courtesy of Torrey Smith and Jordy Nelson(Special mentions to Brandin Cooks who got 24 points on the bench -_-). However, with a little help from Durete playing the Packers D as well as another stellar showing from DeMarco Murray, Ashley and I were able to get the 12.5 victory, thus improving to 7-1, maintaining a solid hold on first place in the league, and more importantly, I gots my just vengeance.
Matchup #2: Trix of The Trade(119) - O Kaeptain! My Kaeptain!(93.5)
“In Charles I Trust” is a mantra I’m sure Laura tells herself each week as she was able to get another strong showing from her #1 pick, helping her get the 25.5 victory and get to 4-4 over Rodney who just can’t catch a break. Despite getting 21 points from his newly acquired RB Eddie Lacy and strong showings from Philip Rivers and Randall Cobb(i.e. the bane of potential Jordy Nelson TDs), a surprisingly poor choice in using the Colts D, another week without Megatron and a massive underperformance from last year’s fantasy darling Jordan Cameron(who may be out for week 9 due to a concussion) ended up being his downfall. Looking over at the winner’s side, a closer inspection shows that Laura’s team is actually better than what their record says about them as she has the the 3rd-most points for in the North division and is only in 4th place due to #KaiThxBai have one win over her. Given this, her Week 9 matchup against a struggling POONCON Red is a pivotal one and with Josh Gordon just a couple weeks away from having his suspension being lifted, this could be the push that LB needs to get into the playoffs.
Matchup #3: Commissioner Josh Gordon(66) - I Don’t Remember The Titans(118.5)
From one hapless team to another, our commish has to find himself pulling what hair he has left with losing a 3rd week in a row, this time in a 28.5 blowout to Quentin. On paper going into this week, he had a well put together roster and the addition of T.Y. Hilton via trade with Rodney was definitely an upgrade, but who could have seen Emmanuel Sanders going on insane and netting 34.5 points in a Thursday night game? Rob should be thankful that Quentin didn’t start Roethlisberger over Luck or else this matchup would be more one-sided that it already was. There’s really nothing else to say other that Quentin had a solid week and should have another one with his team facing off against 2-6 Dumpster Grill. As for Rob, technically he still a chance in making it to the dance for the ‘Ship, but he’ll definite need some divine assistance to get to that point.
Matchup #4: #KaiThxBai(66.5) - RG300 Thread Counts(117)
In the second week in a row that the league sees two residents of Girl House duking it out, we have our second one-sided blowout for the week that could had been a lot closer it weren’t for some truly bizarre start/sit decisions by Alex. I mean, really...benching Drew Brees(for a second straight week) and Jason Witten(who as of this writing just traded for Bobby Rainey, lol) for Ryan Tannehill and Clay Harbor?! C’mon man!! Well regardless, Rachael didn’t need any assistance from Alex’s blunders as all her players but Mason Crosby came up big for her with Aaron Rodgers and Brandon LaFell leading the charge. As the owner of the only team in the East Division with a record over .500, Harrington seems to have the East won.
Matchup #5: Handegg Hooligans(107) - POONCON RED(70)
At this point, I think we can all agree that Emma has found a way to self-Milo herself yet again. Last week, she lost her matchup because she benched Sammy Watkins. This week, she played Watkins but for some reason benched the Chiefs D for the Browns and played Flacco over Matt Ryan, leaving 35 points on the bench from those players alone. I would even say playing Coby Fleener over Scott Chandler was a bad call since playing any of the Colts TEs is a risky move, but who knew Kyle Orton running things in Buffalo would make Chandler remotely valuable in FF. But enough about Emma’s hilarious mistakes. Jack had a dominant showing thanks to huge games from Antonio Brown, a solid waiver pickup in Mark Ingram, and his #1 draft pick Jimmy Graham to give him the 37-point victory and his 4th win in a row. It’s looking like for a second straight season, the North division is the best in our league as all 4 teams are now .500 or better and depending on how things play out, it’s wouldn’t be stretch to see all 4 teams make it to the playoffs by season’s end.
Matchup #6: Legatron Prime(134.5) - Dumpster Grill(78)
Could this be the year that our resident Daywalker(South Park joke, couldn’t help myself) finally get over the hump and make it to the playoffs? With weekly performances like this one, it’s in the realm of possibility. Thanks to solid gains from Jeremy Maclin, Matt Forte, Matthew Stafford, and Ahmad Bradshaw, Sam Josh got the lopsided 56.5-point victory over Erin who had the misfortune of playing Reggie Bush who was out on Sunday as well as getting nothing out of Garrett Graham. Despite the 2-6 record and the Dumpster Grill looking more and more like a Dumpster Inferno, I won’t count Erin out from the big dance since she still was able to make it last year with a losing record. But like Rob, her team will need a lot of help getting there.
Matchup #7: Washington Mullets(94.5) - Beast à la Mode(81.5)
Who needs D? Eric don’t need no D. Despite going in this week without a defense with the 49ers on their bye, the Washington Mullets was able to get the 13-point win over Brian. For a person running solo this year as well as signing up for team ownership mere hours before the draft, Eric has surpassed all expectations and continues to impress, thanks to huge points from Tom Brady and Le’Veon Bell. As for Brian, injuries have been his Achilles heel this season as both his #1 and #2 draft picks in Doug Martin and A.J. Green have both been bitten by the injury bug for weeks now as well as the surprised trading of Percy Harvin to the hapless Jets two weeks ago. Though it’s looking like Green may actually take the field this upcoming Sunday so hope springs eternal.
Matchup #8: Turn Down For Watt(85) - Elevated Conflict(79.5)
This week’s final matchup saw Michele and Sweet D stunning everyone by getting a 6-point victory over Danny in what was projected to be a blowout game in the Elevated Conflict’s favor. Things looked dicey for Turn Down For Watt with a bad showings from the Eagles D and Mike Glennon(the irony with the latter being that Glennon’s opponent on Sunday, Teddy Bridgewater, getting 4 more points), they were able to preserve thanks Arian Foster’s spectacular 37-point day. This has to be disheartening for Danny, as not even PFM and a surprisingly good showing from the Fitz could give them the W and looking at the bench, playing Andrew Hawkins over Joique Bell would have easily tipped the scale. But alas, hindsight is always 20/20. With the victory, Turn Down for Watt goes to 5-3 and moves up two spots to 6th place with what’s shaping up to be a strong playoff push.
And with that, we’ve reached the conclusion of this week’s recaps. And with 5 games to go before the start of the playoffs, this should be one crazy ride for to the finish. Whose team will come out on top?? Whose team will continue to spiral out of control??. Tune in next week to find out, true believers!!
-Chip(Dime Bag Swagger Gordons)
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