The end is nigh. After 12 maddening and at times heart attack-inducing weeks, we’ve have arrived to the final lap of the Suck-It League regular season. Given this, I’ve decided to change up my usual format of breaking down each of this past week’s matchups and instead take a hard look at the playoff picture as it stands right now and how week 13 is a make or break scenario for several teams.
Let’s start with the cream of the crop. After the matchups of week 12, the top 4 teams that currently sit at 8-4 and have pretty much punched a ticket into the dance for the ‘Ship:
#1 - Dime Bag Swagger Gordons(Ashley and Myself)
#2 - RG300 Thread Counts(Rachael H)
#3 - Washington Mullets(Eric)
#5 - Handegg Hooligans(Jack)
A win or lost for either team in week 13 will only change their seeding and nothing more. All 4 of the teams have been stellar all season long, between getting clutch victories or sometimes to getting draft picks + waiver pickups that have been paying off in massive dividends(Demarco Murray, ODB Jesus, Mark Ingram, Aaron Rodgers, Dez Bryant, Jordy Nelson, Le’veon Bell to just name a few). More importantly, each of these 4 has a solid of chance of winning since they have proven time and time again that when their teams in sync, they score big as evidently as Rachael 143-point shellacking this past week. Selfishly, I’ll of course say that they have no hope when I’m part of the equation and this year is mine and mine alone but logically and looking at everything from top to bottom, I can’t denied that the other 3 teams are just as stacked as mine.
Now where the top of the playoff bracket is easily deciphered, the bottom half the spectrum is tricky and can getting even tricker depending how week 13 goes. Outside of 6th seed Turn Down For Watt(Sweet Dee and Michele) going strong with a 7-5 record, we currently have 6 6-6 teams that fighting to get or maintain one of the last 3 spots:
Elevated Conflict(Danny)
I Don’t Remember The Titans(Quentin)
Legatron Prime(Sam Josh)
Trix Gordon/Trix of the Trade(Laura)
Commissioner Josh Gordon(Our “esteemed” commish, Rob Sale)
O Kaeptain! My Kaeptain!(Rodney)
As it stands right now, only Quentin, Sam Josh and LB currently have a spot in the big dance at #4, #7 and #8 respectively, but they are the furthest thing away from of being save as Rob, Rodney, and Danny are nipping at their heels. For starters, in Danny and Quentin’s case, they are the co-leaders of the West division with Quentin getting the nod based 1077.5 Points For compared to Danny’s 990.5. That can changed pretty easily if Danny get a W this week and Quentin get the L or if Quentin shits the bed + wins while scoring way below projections and Danny’s team scores 100 or more points and gets the W. Both teams have favorable matchups this week, so a W for either of them is very much in the realm of possibility. But as we all know, favorable matchups and point projections mean absolutely nothing and we’ve already seen matchups that looked good for one team in the beginning only to go completely sour by week’s end, so hopefully Danny and Quentin don’t become the latest victims of that trend.
A similar situation applies for in the case of Sam Josh v Rob. Despite being in the bottom half of the South Division, these two actually have the 2nd and 3rd most points in that division and a W for one and an L will certainly help their chances. But, both teams can actually benefit with a win as well as a loss from Turn Down For Watt, in which case there’s a chance that both teams get into the playoffs and Sweet D and Michele are outside looking in. Of course, this is will all depend on the Points For/Points Against ratio in their matchups when it’s all said and done, but it’s definitely a possible scenario. By the way things look now, 3 teams will represent the South in the playoffs, but the identity of the other 2 teams that will join Eric remains to be seen.
For Rodney and LB, it’s pretty straightforward. Both teams need to win to either gain or maintain a spot, but they also need to score some big numbers in those wins. In LB’s case, a 65+ point win and her opponent scoring low along with a loss from Rob and/or Rodney helps hold on to the 8th spot. For Rodney, a big win(at the very least 70+) combined with Rob and LB lost and he gets #8. Losses from Legatron Prime and Turn Down for Watt along both of those teams not scoring big greatly improves his chances and he can get actually nab the #6 playoff spot.
And what if all 6 teams get a W this week? Going just by current point projections of their week 13 matchups, the first week of playoffs remains unchanged:
#8 Trix Gordon
#1 Dime Bag Swagger Gordons
#5 Handegg Hooligans
#4 I Don’t Remember the Titans
#6 Turn Down For Watt
#3 Washington Mullets
#7 Legatron Prime
#2 RG300 Thread Counts
Where the trickiness comes in is if somehow, all 6 teams lose their matchups and fall to 6-7. Trying to figure out the numerous permutations on how the seeding will work in that scenario is a job for a mad man, but rest assured it’s a lot. To add into the insanity is if all 6 teams lose and Emma wins her matchup, bringing a grand total of 7 teams with 6-7 fighting for 3 playoff spots. Yup, Emma, Ms Self-Milo herself with the #12 ranked team in our league, has a very, very, very small chance of actually getting in(Unfortunately Brian, Alex, Erin and Durete are pretty much out of the picture, so you guys have fun fighting for non-Sacko). Of course, this all depends if her teams goes bonkers(i.e. Beast Mode going primal) and hits the jackpot in points and her matchup is far from ideal, but hey if anyone in the NFC South is still eligible to make it to the playoffs despite it laying down the suck this year, why not Emma.
Needless to say, this week’s games carry a lot of weight and it’s going to be very interesting to see how it all ends. Who gets in?? Who is left out?? Will Durete ever stop playing Eric Decker on FLEX?? All these questions and more and will be answered next week, so stay tuned true believers. EXCELSIOR!!!!
- Chip(Dime Bag Swagger Gordons)
